Mission Impossible

I was ready.

It was Friday morning at 10a.m.  The sun was shinning brightly and my black clothes were absorbing the heat.  I was wearing black sweatpants, a black tank top, a black sweatband, and red sunglasses.  A small, silver digital camera was wrapped tightly around my wrist.  A Glad freezer size bag was grasped in my fist.  10-4, I was ready for the mission.

I got into my Ford Focus and drove the six blocks to where I was going to find my story.  Across the street was a bank.  To my right was a dirty brick building.  Dumpsters were scattered like coins falling from a hole in God's pockets.  (I'm not sure if He has pockets, but if not, that is something I will bring with me to heaven, robes with pockets, what a great idea... and maybe that will help my chances of getting through those infamous golden gates.)  Anyways, I was confused.  Where do I start, which dumpster do I jump into first, how do I go about dumpster diving?  

I decided the best way to this was feet first.  I walked as discreetly as a 6 foot girl dressed in all black at 10 am could possible walk.  Once I made it to the lid a horrible foul smell consumed my nostrils.  I gagged.  But I must go on, any good reporter can't let spoiled eggs and rotten bananas get in the way of a story.  I throw the lid back fiercely and climbed in.  My feet sank about 2 feet deep into the waste.  "Shit", I thought. "I should have brought gloves."

I couldn't let that small detail stop me either.  I was on a mission and was going to succeed.  I managed to make my rounds into somewhere around eight dumpsters, digging through piles of paperwork (which was the easy part), dirty dippers, and decomposing mystery products.  And found myself left with nothing more than I started with.  A digital camera grasping to my wrist for its life, an empty Glad bag, and no story.

I wish I could tell you what I was looking for, but I can't.  It's not that I don't know what I was hoping to find, it's that I'm still hoping to find it.  So, stay away from MY dumpsters, and MY story or else you will have to fear the ambiguous giant girl lurking around in broad daylight.